I'm gettin' outta here

My ranting continues here, http://pickholes.wordpress.com/
I found the new place a bit warm and cozy... (o yeah..like you care..)

Whats next?

My eldest daughter will be completing high school this year. SMS me the other day to get my advice on her way-forward. It was 'what-course-to-take-which-univ-to-apply' kinda impasse. I am glad that she consulted me coz it is important for her to be guided appropriately. With peers, teachers, councilors giving all kinda mixed views, I know it could be quite a dilemma for her. I really want to make sure that the line she’s planning to take really best suits her interest. Not much of an advice, but I gave her these two points to take into account in whatever route she is taking.

1. On course/major – just go for what interests you, full stop
2. On University choice – anywhere in this world given that they are accredited, full stop

Bear in mind that the only fun thing about learning is when you are learning something that you like to learn (same goes with working). You like it you’ll enjoy it. And this shall only be the aspect to consider when choosing which course to take. Understood that at her tender age, deciding on this can be hellavu confusion. It is only natural for ones to choose a major that could land them a good and well-paid career in future, but how could you tell now. Why would one consider the market, job prospect, paycheck and other potential goodies at this stage as these external not only can revolutionize over a period time but are completely irrelevant. This is about you and what you want to learn; these external factor are immaterial. The one and only factor shall be your interest and passion - pick a course based on these.

On which u to apply, I’d advised her to just go ahead and apply any accredited u out there. Forget the ranking and shit like that, for all it tells is basically the ranking of the u, not the graduates. There are criteria applied in doing this ranking exercise that 99% of which have nothing to do with the performance of their student…Bush graduated from Harvard and Yale....duh..??.Why jeopardize yourself going for Ivy League when the standard that they need uphold to sustain their ’elite’ status will fail you. All you need is to learn and acquire knowledge, not to be penalized with exorbitant fees and failures.

I told my baby whatever it was, I would be 200% supporting her, it was her future and her life.

A 1.6b for Youtube...*sigh*

It’s a beautiful day today, the morning started with a good weather ergo my mood goes along with it. Looking out from my 3rd floor office window, I could see herds of goats ushered along by an old lady shepherd with a stick. Hundreds of them from all kinda species, from the thick haired (resembling our Persian cat) to a normal Indian black goat you’d see back home. It is so unbelievable observing how this one lady controlling hundreds of these animals, ushering and maneuvering the herd with none dispersing out of the flock. Its kinda neat seeing this from my office. You’d see this lady strolling just behind the flock raising her stick shouting and screaming, reminiscent of a three-crowned general calling all her soldiers to take orders and march straight ahead..!! (I am sure they have a special human to nature language that I don’t understand..). Just imagine the networth of that old crusted-heel lady with hundreds of goats at an average of 1000RM each……

Now that brings me to think of the non-existence of any clear form of standard or yardstick correlating with life fulfillment. Lifestyle, money, cars, houses, fancy dine and wine etc etc these are all man-invented benchmarks, presumably applied as the correct gauge to level ones life accomplishment. This is not a always true though, think about it..

Last night I was hanging-out “sheeshaing” with regular buddy at our favorite joint. Among other smart-ass-topic-of-conversations, we were talking about the recent purchase of Youtube by Google at a hefty 1.6 fucking billions!! Youtube is a program hosting net users around the globe to post their pathetic videos on line for free. It was constructed by three young ex PayPal employees a little over a year ago. God knows how the idea was triggerred…these guys are barely 30 now, they’d probably in their early 20s when the idea crop up! At that rebellious age, whilst others would probably talk craps that revolve around sex and booze whenever they gather, these three nerds here were discussing something that are now shoving their ass up with billions. So un-fucking-believable would you say..

Now…with that much money they’re getting, I'd say what else in life that they shall struggle further for. Common sense will calculate your growing billion over an average life span of 80 years will give your life just about every-damn-thing and any-darn-thing under the sun.. need you go out busting your ass for more……………Unlike the hotmail guy who went partying non stop …(but thats another sad story altogether). I am sure for these three billionaires here, life will continue with more probable prospects and opportunity-ventures.

Like I’ve said earlier, it’s not the money, the wine and dine craps that measure your life realization, its something else that these three dudes and the old shepherd lady have in common…

Cobaan.....

Alright, feel like bitching today...there seems to be lots of things getting on my nerves of late and these are about to start hitting my threshold limit of bursting out into full flame. First off I'd like to say that I really hate it when people take punctuality very light, what more honoring promises. Alas…unfortunately I happen to be living in a society with 99.99% of its populace do not have a tinkling idea of this essence. It is always maddening to deal with this type of pea-brain morons.

As far back as I could remember, never once had I experienced an appointment that turned out on time. That includes appointment made by Services Company here for installation of phone, Internet, Cable TV and other home appliances that required their service personnel skills to hook up or home delivery of certain purchases. In all these occasions, they’d never turned up on time as promised and we ended up house-arresting ourselves at home waiting foolishly for them. These suckers fucked our day!!

The typical chrono-fucking-logy would normally go something like this - an appointment is set, the guy would not come as set, until you call which would obviously result in another time setting, which is knowingly useless as it would never register in his brain until you call again to follow up, and sure enough it eventually end up with another time setting, and these would continue until some shouting and cursing happen (mind you the answer to these calls is always....yes sirrr I am cumming!!).

My A/C was finally fixed in the kitchen last night at 10pm. The arrangement was to come at 4.30pm the day before. I went to this shop two days earlier to get an A/C installed in my kitchen…

Me: So when you can come to fix it.
Pea-Brain (PB) : Tomorrow
Me : What time??…you know I need you to tell me exactly when you can come so I know when I should be home, else I have other plans to attend to ..you know what I mean, I don’t want to be stuck at home the whole evening waiting..
PB : 4.30pm shuuurr (sure!)
Me : (had a feeling that he would not make it at 4.30pm as Iftar would be around 6.00pm, I proposed..) If you cannot make it at 4.30pm tomorrow, you can come on the following day, morning time, say 10.00am
PB : shuuurr I come 4.30 pm sirr…

I wanted to believe though the ‘shuurr’ sounded so thorny and I hate not to believe. But as usual I was fucked, again and I knew it!!

May be this is the norm here, not accommodating to the norm leaves me quarrelling with these numbskull all the times and the fact that all the squabbles are known pointless leave me with dreadful headache and screw up my mood end of the day….

Smart Society..are we?

Ran out of puke to throw up listening to the wedding of an artist back home. Was it necessary to make it that big, I mean real huge! Fine, you are an icon and it was your greatest day … but again with all the hype and publicity, spotlight and exposure, coverage and shit…(arrgghh , I need to puke again..)
Back on vacation last month, all I heard on media, other than rape cases and sick bomoh molesting customer, was the fairy tale of this artist and her grand marriage. Ironic, it was aired live on tube as if all of us were devotees of hers…give me a break! In all fairness, media was also to be blamed for exploiting them.

For me, what it was, is just an ordinary marriage of a desperate 'if-not-would have-been-andartu' artist with an old chap who I assumed is a firm advocate of variety & viagra. That was that. Oh well..selamat hingga ke anak cucu.

And another hit sensation, was the break off of an artist and his cheap-publicity-seeker fiancé…it was also shown live on TV! These two events were covered at national level, and the sickest part of this was the statistic showing millions glued to their TV watching either one of these two sick events.

Now, talk about smart society we are!

Woozy

Finally weekend is here, cannot wait!

I hate first day in office after a long vacation! It’s zillion times worst than Monday blues. Forget the jetlag, I got in the office quite early, thought of checking on my accumulated emails thronging the inbox before other colleague came in, but dang…I forgot my password... it was waaayyy much later that I finally got it right (that was after trillion attempts). Cleaned up my desk and put all papers in order in between greeting collegues, phew .. in this part of the world, do not expect a short greeting of “hi, welcome back”. Not before I really settle down, bosses called in for discussions, meeting, follow up, clarification and what not... (shit.. I felt as if there was a plot among them to brain-fucking people on the first day they came back from vacation just for heck of it!). I was practically leaping from one meeting to another and before I knew it, it was passed 5.00pm. It was busy busy busy and adding to this, the company was fucking chasing me for our “buddy’ who not only left the company but leaving some shits with the landlord and utilities company too! I was hauled up to settle the mess, I was like fuck, do I care?.. but a good man I am, I was shoving my neck in to settle the problem. That went on until today…finally.

I still have hundreds of unread email that I have to go through..

Stalactite-stalagmite

This is my last week here before I go off for my long awaited holiday. I need the break. Last night, I cleaned up the whole old apartment, I mob the floor, cleaned the windowpane and doors, dusted the walls, cleaned up the kitchen and the finale…. cracking-down the stove (hope missus read this and says “..how sweet, my hubby is cleaning up the house…”).

The stove was filthy – never knew that cuz I've never really looked or had any good motive to look at the stove before this. I had to practically use all kind of detergent, anti-grease and what-not to get the old stove spotless. The panel was sticky as dodol, oily and blackened. Scrapping the stove took my entire energy. I just could not believe layers and layers of oil that formed a good 3” of coating on the panel surface and grill (ok, may be that’s a bit exaggerating…but it is thick…).

I had to use scrapper to peel off the layers. Can you imagine it all started with a daily spattered of cooking oil that deposited here and there over a period of time to form a good stalactite-stalagmite-like formation on the panel.

This made me ponder about our health – all the saturated fat that goes in our system through the food we take everyday and how it could ultimately form a lethal coating to our arteries wall over a period of time. Scary…

Helpline from hell

Missus and kids left a week ago, and life without them around sucks big time. I miss them the second they checked-in at the airport. We communicate everyday though and missus sends SMS every now and then. What drives me nuts is my GSM (hand phone) - all of a fuckin’ sudden, I cannot send or replying to SMS. This has never happened before - just when I need it most.

I called the Helpline like a hundred and fucketh times, nicely complaining about this trouble. At first, a lady nicely told me “..yes sir, we’ll fix the problem, and in 5 minutes, you’ll be able to send SMS..bla bla..”. Oh ok, I waited five minutes, but nothing fixed, problem still persist until now. I have been calling the Helpline since then, and they kept telling me that it was a technical issue, and the technical team was still fixing it…now is what, after 5 days, and they are still fixing it…I am getting tired, and what infuriate the hell outta me is the fact that they never bother to call to keep you posted - so I have to call them like, every day.

This morning, I was running out of patient. I called and I was not very well mannered this time, again they told me that it was a technical problem and the technical team was in charge to fix it…oh my God, did I hear that right…. I said fuck the terminology referred to the issue, I don’t fucking care how you term the problem, technical, commercial, procedural, legal or sexual - it is a problem to me, and I need it fixed right away coz I am paying for the service every second of my using your line.

As a customer, I am corresponding with you (so called Helpline) as a focal point, and please don’t tell me what department or subdivision within your organization was responsible to look into it. So, I asked who was this technical team, were they here or residing at some other far reaching planets and asked her to find out what were they doing with my complaint – for all you know, they could be sitting around picking each others nose rather than attending to my problem – I mean I am sure it is a small problem that can be fixed within a jiffy - it has been five nauseating days now.

I gave the lady my last word before I hung up, I want it fixed or have someone from one of your zillion subdivision within your company to call me to update OR I‘ll write a nasty letter to your management, terminate my line and subscribe to other competitor.

I have a feeling that they are not going to do shit about my complain.

Eat shit, choke and suffocate.........

I just could not take how the US and its chums (UN security and G8) are reacting to the Middle East crisis – they’re practically toying with time letting the casualty to go on… . Ironically, the US maintained that Israel has every right to defend its country…give me a break you satan!

You cowboy were so fast in retorting to Iran and North Korea, though on the same principle that these two sovereign countries have their right to pursue on anything that they judged beneficial for their country. I am so peeved by this injustice to write more, I wish great satan to eat shit, choke, suffocate, asphyxiate and die !

Moving day

Swear to God, I’ll never want to move again, not until I am parting the country for good or if there is a confirmed astronomic evidence telling me the building I am staying now is threatened by an incoming comet or some space debris. It was one helluva sweat-squeezing and strenuous chore, my weekend was fucked!

Luckily, bro called a day before we moved telling us that he had the labor ready to help out. I knew he would help…he…he ..my bloody cold silent treatment really worked then...yes!

I was stunned the other day when he told me he could not help…man…!! what was that! I was like, shit…!! I had been helping him with all sorta shits all the way back from our bujang-days, and he was slapping right on my face with a plain NO to my only request!

It was un-fucking-believable just how much stuff we had to pack and unpack. You’d never realized just how much shitload of stuff (or junk) you have accumulated until the time you had to pack and move. Missus learned a lesson though; so in the future, whenever you are in doubt as whether to keep or to throw something, just make up your mind and throw the damn thing because chances are …you will never use the damn thing or find anything useful about it!

Six labors worked their asses up till late afternoon, man… these bunch of dudes are god-made to do this kind of hard work. They were really kicking ass - with the sizzling-heat weather and moving mess, they worked non stop. I treated them with good breakfast and lunch and at day's end, paid them well (by the prevailing standard here).

Actually, my current lease will not expire until September, but we had to move now as missus and kids will be going off for a vacation next week (…I am gonna miss them..). Basically I am paying for 2 apartments until then.

...mudah lupa

Of late, news back home revolved around one butthead (that used to be a super ass kisser) being so rude to our old man. Not that I really fancy anyone here, but the least he could’ve done is to show some respect and listen, I mean… common you rotten ex-fuckhead-lawyer, that old man has done a lot for the country. My point is…take your old folks - you may not agree whole heartedly with them on all matters, but I am sure we would not bluntly blast them off just like that, knowing what our old folks have done and sacrificed raising shithead-devil like us. O well, life is sometime soo unjust…We had plan to move out .. just for heck of it. The apartment we are staying now is quite ok, but the longer we stay there, we notice the smaller the space is getting…may be the building is shrinking…. No, actually, we thought of moving into a bigger apartment… the kids need the extra space, our elder daughter will be enrolling high school next term, so a private room without free invasion by her younger sis and bro would be a special treat for her. We found the apartment, not far from where we stay now and signed the lease couple of days ago. We are shifting this weekend. Missus is busy packing stuff and I am busy thinking of ways to get help. My bro who had earlier agreed to arrange for labor is now refusing to do for un-fucking-knowm reason. O well…like I said, life could be sooo unfair.

Aaargh...

Just one of those fucked-up days when you don’t feel like your normal self. Everything went haywire and screwed your brain up out of tranquility. That’s what I am going through right now.

I feel like bursting out but the thought of keeping quiet is better than to say a word keeps me holding everything up within. These are all work related - some assignment are being held up gratuitously simply because of the ignorance of some lunatics who failed to keep their words and ignored the dateline. Other job that I expected to be completed by now was halfway done for un-fucking-known reasons. Adding to it, some nuisance jackass are tailgating me like hell to get something ready asap, knowing damn well the snarl-up was far beyond my control.

And the list goes on and on...how I wish I were at Bukit Kayu Itam Golf and Country Club (..Danok...Hatyai...Changloon...) right at this moment..

Aaarghh….have a sense that some planned work would not get done before my annual vacation in August… hate that gut feeling, I hope with all these I can still make it all before my planned annual vacation….cross my finger..

The auditors are here.

Just feel like writing out of disappointment.
Yesterday, I was at the warehouses that akin to a burn pit with hell-heat that went on something like 45-50 degree, digging for some ancient files requested by the external auditors. Spent almost 4 fucking hours there, assisted by few dumb labors that moved an inch only when you pushed, else they would not budge.

For the past two weeks, our company is being audited by a group of external auditors. We had been advised by the management to render full support to this group in executing their assignment. On my part, the auditors had been asking me for a whole lot of information of this and that, to which I gave what I do have or knew how to find them, but for others that I had not a single idea to trace, I just told them that we had all these information nicely filed at the warehouse – hoping they’d quit asking for these as time went by. But no sirrr…. an email from auditors was sent to big guy up there demanding whatever documents that was said to be filed nicely at the warehouse to be submitted to them immediately.

Oh boy, I was fucked! Big guy returned an email requesting me, who else, to drag my sorry ass to the F1-sepang-like-heat warehouse.

Truth is documents at warehouse were a big-fucking-mess. Loose documents, boxes and old cabinet were in total disarray (I would not surprise had we found one of our ex-staff we thought left the company buried in it.). I managed to barely retrieve what were requested though, but I would not want to go through this hellish blow ever again. I have no qualm but to put a 300 percent blame on the numbskull who were doing my job two/three years ago. This numbskull apparently did not know how to put things a bit in order, and hell…….look what have you done to poor innocent sole like me!

What a bummer.

Missus has been tutoring (read torturing) our daughter for SAT exam. The exam was scheduled to begin today but we found out from school that the exam paper has not yet arrived from UK…. (I could not fucking believe that!). There was a letter from school advising parents about this deferment until …well..I guess until they receive the paper, which is unknown to them as I am writing this.

According to my daughter, when the school announced about the deferment, most of the pupils were relief, but not she though. What a bummer... she would love to get it over with. A postponed exam means an indefinite time frame for her to continuously study every night, sleep early with no outing, computer and extended hours of watching tv. I can just imagine how stress that is!

I smoke

I smoke, and I don’t protest to the fact that smoking increases the risk of lung cancer. I do know how lethal this habit is. I am trying to quit but…hear me out..

Last night I was walking to my car, passing through a group of some five people who apparently didn’t know how to pick a spot to gather so as not to obstruct passageway. So they were gathering right in the middle of a small path for me to pass by. I excused myself courteously (mind you, I am always polite..), they broke the cluster and gave way. I don’t smoke in the house, so as usual when I left my apartment that night, I immediately lit my fag. When I passed this group, I had my cigarette but I didn’t take a puff or blow a smoke.

What got on my nerves was when I noticed from the corner of my eyes, one guy from the group was looking or rather ogling at me and babbling something referring to my cigarette smoke that he could smell. He seemed to be holding his breath the seconds I passed him …well I guess he was trying to be safe from being a second hand smoker. When I looked back, he gave me that ‘just-kill-yourself-NOT-US-with-your-cigarette’ face. That pissed me off, I mean, first, you were making your little convention in the middle of the road, second, I didn’t take a puff when I passed by and third, you should’ve thanked me coz I could’ve blown a good cloud of smoke right to your face. So I stared back, and gave him a good ‘fuck-you-too’ face!

I am a smoker, and please do not expect me to just throw my pricey cigarette when I pass by you for your fuck sake!
Ok....fact is there are smokers and non-smokers in this world. To me, the dissection does not in any way representing a division between a healthy conscious and non-healthy conscious lots. There are about trillion things that you have to observe to keep yourself healthy, like-wise trillion things to kill yourself – yes, smoking is just one of them.

It is absurd to single out smoking as the culprit to cancer or other heart related diseases. We are all misled by theories and unproven researches done by non-smokers scientist or specialist. What the’re doing is actually trying to impose their personal preference onto others. It has nothing to do with health. Yes, smoking may be bad to you, so is imbalance diet, or not exercising, or being in the middle of highly polluted area, or sunbathing, or driving, or eating seafood, or walking down the traffic-craze roads. Most of us live in a perpetual haze of atmospheric pollutants that have nothing at all to do with cigarette. Fact that you don't choose the one particular risk does not mean that you are not exposed to a more serious risk because of other choices that you personally don't regard as significant, despite the fact that they are more likely to wind up killing you.

Another thing, I read in one article that says, Quote “…there are scientific studies that purportedly prove that smoking increases one's risk of cancer, however, it does not cause cancer, contrary to everything you've ever read. That has never been proved. What has been proved (despite the logical holes in those studies) is that smoking can increase your risk of cancer. That's all. The fact that this proof has gone long undisputed has allowed anti-smoking groups to equate increased risk with cause, but those two terms are not equivalent. If smoking caused lung cancer, one would expect all or even most smokers to develop lung cancer, but the fact of the matter is that only a tiny fraction of all smokers develop the disease, and non-smokers develop it as well, just is slightly lesser numbers.” Unquote.

What I am trying to get to here is that why most of us always pick on smoking when there are actually other equally weighted factors that could harm your health…like lack of exercise and imbalance diet. Smoking is as bad as shoving in food with saturated fat, trans fat or hydrogenated oil. The guy that gave me that look last night was obese as pig with a BMI index of most probably not less than 40 if not more, save that hold-your-breath crap that you did, with that extra pounds you carry for lack of exercise and overeating, you’d probably die of heart attack anyway.

By the way there was a study about second hand smoker that proved all the studies done before are just bunches of lying sack of shits.. Passive smoking doesn't cause cancer....I knew it!

*sigh..*

Man…I was so tight up last week, shitloads of assignment landed on me with unreasonable datelines given. I didn’t even go to my blog to update (or rather to express my ill will). I was thinking why were all these tasks coming all at the same time? Just weeks before that, I was psychologically tortured by the ticking of my watch waiting for the day to end…I was practically doing nothing in office. I may have looked real busy alright… eyes glued to PC with fingers prolifically punching keyboard – shit I was actually writing junk emails, sending jokes and browsing ‘real-strange-sites’ all week.

Had bad war of words experience this morning though, one motherfucker of one uncivilized continent with billion uncontrollable populace origin thought he could get away scot-free by assuming I forget what I said few weeks ago. Too bad you shithead, I happened to record everything and dare to quote what I said. I was quarrelling with him (I should’ve not entertained this moron at the first place), and at one point I just could not take his sordid tongue twisted squabble that I kept quiet and put down the phone. I despised him the moment I first met him (what do you expect of a person who wear sunglasses in office…ok may be he got a bit carried away with too much pathetic bollywood movies), but …nevermind!. I just knew then if our company had to deal with this moronic character, we would be looking at hell in from of us….and true enough we have already felt the heat now...

Mystical crap

There is this one friend of mine spreading a news of a place where he would get a treatment for his diabetic and liver problem. I am not sure how chronic he is (I presume not that life threatening else he would not have the time to spread the news). He referred the place as pusat perubatan traditional – as it is not a recognized hospital or medical center with qualified doctors or medical specialists. The place offers treatment with supernatural medication and numinous surgery to all kind of illnesses. Cost-wise, a treatment is charged at an average of 1 to 2 grand!

I would imagine a place manned by a sick-psycho whose childhood dream was to become a doctor but failed miserably, dressed only in sarong with untrimmed moustache and beard and huge stoned-rings worn at every other finger. Waiting for his prey….ready to con…

Well I don' tknow what to say here …. but personally I’d rather spend that much money getting the right treatment at the right place. I heard there are just too many of these traditional crap centers nowadays (flip Bacaria, centerfold, you’ll see one big ad...and try Mastika too!). Ironically they are all surviving recession-proof up till now. Do these places need to be registered with some ministry or whatever requirements there are?

OK, may be, they are people who actually went there and coincidently recovered thus strengthen their belief in craps they have been prescribed by these centers and off course the most all-time-popular authenticity indicator – when buses of Singaporean thronging the place ..I don’t know why Singaporeans presences at these places justify the genuineness.

I am not totally discounting the genuineness of these sorts of treatment and what wonders they can do (though I truly believe the only traditional way of cure is to go for conventional way of treatment – revert to proper diet and exercise) but there are just too many of these places nowadays... like at every kilometer you go.

Free ride.. no more

Months ago, I registered my interest on-line to one seminar that will be held in KL. It's a 5-day seminar and scheduled in mid May.

The website says crap like “...it is an event that you can not miss.... past seminars were held with great success in Los Angeles, London, Tokyo and Frankfurt…bla bla bla… hear what past participants have to say…it enriches your knowledge in …ba bla bla…"

Yeah right…gimme a break you blood sucking leech profit oriented organizer…all you care is sucking money legitimately from big corporations who do not bothered much about spending money on lunatics who yearn for once in a while be away from their boss or wives. Truth is, nobody wants to sit and listen to something they already knew for 5 straight days if not for the free vacation with food and accommodation that go with it– believe me Mr Organizer! (well…like you care, anyway).

Not that I reaaaalllyyy want to enhance my already rusted brain with this seminar, but the timing of this event coincides with my scheduled trip to KL for some personnel affairs. So it is kinda free flight for me to fly there. I didn’t tell my boss when I made this online registration, until recently when the organizer e-mailed and called me to confirm my participation. So, as a good asswipe employee that I am, I forwarded the email to my boss with a fancy fiction justifying the need for me to attend the seminar. I hope he would read and understand my dire need to enrich myself with additional super knowledge garnered from this seminar, which in turn would be poured down to other poor soles in the company.

That was a week ago, but up till now, no news from boss yet. I kinda wondering what is holding up his decision, (either he bump into my blog and found out my real intention of going or he just don’t feel like letting me go this time).

I know my boss, he’d normally reply to e-mails within seconds he receive them. He is very good at this electronic communication - even if you cough or fart he will reply with an email asking “what’s that?” that’s how fast and efficient he is in replying an email, but not this time…I felt like seeing him personally but again, I detest the situation where I have to orally justify the trip…I guess I am just so spoilt with the marvel of electronic communications.

Whatever it is, I hope he'll reply soon else I have to buy my own ticket. My left hand itch lately…. …*sigh*

Diversification

My brother left the country and moved here last week presumably looking for greener meadow. He’s here taking over the running of a small company owned by this one sheikh. Bro of mine is one heck of a character - the most apparent is his boldness to take risks that are sometime completely avoidable and his bluntness of bludgeoning any damn thing crossing his path. He relented 9-5 job years ago after giving a good punch on his boss face before started his own business.

He was doing fairly ok for the first few years, but suffers badly in recent years, with less and less business secured. I have been observing his progress over the years and feel sorry for him. Though on the surface he seems pretty much independent as compared to me who sometime has to cream boss asses, life is actually shit-tough for his wife and kids… I hope it’ll start changing soon.

The other day I was talking-cock with a colleague about businesses and what actually makes one really succeed. So we, the smart-asses, kinda concluded that one of the thousand principles for success is one ability to fully master the trade he is in, I mean really master it to the extend that if you are into condom manufacturing business, you should not only be acquainted with the very aspect of that rubber such as the elasticity, the grip, the rim, the sensitivity and flavor, the ‘watch-that-pubic-hair-when-rolling-down’ dilemma, but also the market and other external factors that could affect the market. This mastery could only be attained by years and years of doing only that and being only there – yes, we call it specialization!.

In a real business world, specialization provides you with the aptitude to be familiar with the surrounding variables influencing every corner of your business - the complete supply chain that includes market, suppliers, sub suppliers, customers et all. Only with this knowledge gained from specializing that we could sail through various predicaments, adeptly identify the opportunities and the threat, and hence knowing the precise time to strike or to retreat for the business to leap a step forward.

On the other hand, diversification, though it normally associated with an act of business expansion, is actually a risk that could either make or break you. Every business entity envisages to diversify as part of its development – so as to be one big momma conglomerate with seemingly growing turnover and income, but untimely, premature or misdirection to this vision may twirl it the other way around.

Check out big corporations back home who went eagerly on diversifying in unfamiliar playing field only to be backfired a little later with more mismanagement and losses.

I am no couch patato

I don’t really watch TV, beside the fact that TV falls within our little ones territory of control, there is just nothing much to see on TV. Though there are over 800 channels on my cable set to flip, 80% of that comes in languages I don’t speak. Good thing that I am subscribed to Showtime, which avail some 50 channels of an understood language.

When we, me and missus do watch (that’s after the kids sleep), our favorite stations would always be Movies, News and some Arabic music channels. But off late, we experienced a radical shift to our favorites. We are now tuning in to BBC Food channel at every possible opportunity we have. BBC Food is the BBC's international food channel and broadcasts in Europe, the Middle East and Africa. This channel is packed with the best-known chefs showcasing the best food program from around the world.

Watching these great cooks or chef mixing ingredients and turning them into some exotic dishes enthuses me. Everything seems to be so simple (but believe me, it is not as it seems though)! Their finished products are like a masterpiece. My favorite is James Reeson, others that I admire includes Ainsley Harriott, Nigella Lawson, Delia Smith, Jamie Oliver, Antonio Carluccio, Antony Worrall Thompson, Rick Stein, Sophie Grigson, Ken Hom, Madhur Jaffrey and Gary Rhodes.
From my trivial observation, there are these three values that appear to be the common denominators for all these great chefs… swiftness, creativity and presentation skill.

1. 1. Swiftness - they seem to be kicking ass (..amplified by good editing), they are quick in action with ideas come in a flash and almost spontaneous, orders of preparation are well synchronized so one act doesn’t wait for the next, rather some can actually run simultaneous. Not to mention the slicing, cutting, mincing and moving around the kitchen – they all go zas zas zas…done!.
2. Great chefs are creative; they’re practically inventors – crafting something new. You’d never believe the geographical origin of some ingredients thrown in their foods. They must have been scouting around for ideas and inspirations, tasting and trying the whole lot under the sun in their hunt to explore.
3. And most evident, these people are exceptional artist they are so artistic in presenting the food to drool you...

I am hungry....

My all

I am giving my all to my beloved company, wholeheartedly .. ..*wink wink*.

Employees just got a circular announcing few changes and amendment to the company policy. Among others, the one that electrify me is the Car Entitlement for employee of a certain grade and above. Our dear company is generous enough to fork out a free 10% down payment for brand new car purchased up to a certain maximum limit and to increase the monthly transportation allowance by 400%!!...yes thats 400%, you read me right!

I am thinking of selling my Prado and exploiting this perk. The brand new E280 that I just checked out recently fits just fine within the entitlement, without me having to pay a single cent out of my pocket! Yes…I am beginning to fall in love with this company

The Ultimate Secret Revealed

I have just discovered the secret of being an annoying and infuriating asshole from hell.

First, just be your self-centered self, totally pay no heed to others, use only your words (or saliva) to get things moving and expect others to do the grunt works, act like you're ruling the whole universe and the fact that without you the whole universe will fall into pieces and collapse (and not to forget taking up licking boss’ balls for free time hobby). There..you have it!

Credit to one of my fellow colleague here who is generous enough to reveal such a secret indirectly to me (wish you rot in hell!).

Free dinner for some

My mind was soaring and I was about to doze off last night, when I heard some kind of uproar somewhere outside my room. I thought I was dreaming but the noise was getting louder and it appeared coming from our kitchen. Shit…I hate that feeling, you know the shit-scared-but-yet-you-have-to-find-out-what’s-that-all-about kinda feeling. I got out from the bed to find out

Phew…it came from the building just behind our apartment. So I went and opened the window, and there … the restaurant on the ground floor of that building was on blaze. There were like trillions people crowding the place, struggling to put off the fire, dragging hose from nearby building, splashing water and spraying with extinguishers. O'boy..it was a big fire as I could sense the heat from my window. I was thinking about my kids and important document that I need to clutch just in case it spread to our building. Things were fucking chaotic with the hollering and outcry, people were everywhere, some were actually did something and some were mere bystanders. A view from my apartment was like a first class seat, so I kinda saw all in action.

I woke missus up just in case. I was wondering and speculting how long would the Fire Fighting team take to be there. Man, the blaze was flaming higher with more water splashing on it, as if you were spattering gasoline to it. It was quite frightening just to look at how the fire was getting bigger and bigger, dark smoke coming out from the building and shit. Not until half an hour later, the fire squad came and put out the fire for good.

That brings me to ponder about our HSE or all these Fire Evacuation manuals and policy that I bet we all have at our work place. I am sure they're all written perfectly with detailed procedure and process stipulated therein. But in reality, when real shit happens, rarely things are going as per plan. We are all subject to instantaneous reaction to things, despite what we have theoretically learned. That was what actually happened last night. All acts were spontaneous. There were no systematic evacuation process, nobody come to alert other tenants of the building, patrons running outta restaurant in total chaos, people crowding the place instead of assembling at a safer place and all the havoc (that was what I observed from my first class seat).

p/s I'm just wondering how many patrons were actually spontaneously reacting to the incident by just leaving the restaurant with free dinner.

a good smack or two will do the trick

Yesterday missus called from our daughter play-school telling me that our little precious just refused to get into her class, she was pleading her mom with trillions ‘purr..lizzzs’ at every sentence uttered by her to just go home. Missus was a bit upset because our daughter has never acted like this, she was always looking forward to sing, paint and color. I told missus just to take her home, I kinda sense what the dilemma was.

You see there were times when missus was a bit stretched and thus asked me to fetch our daughter from school. So whenever I took her, driving home I’d always posed her with these ‘how-was-school-what-did-you-learn-at-school’ kinda questions, just to keep a conversation. More than once she told me about her friends picking on her – like pulling her hair or hit her. I wasn’t showing a reaction though, but it sure pissed me off!

Ok not that I was irrational or anything but I mean there are adults there that could’ve at least kept an eye on some little devils who like to pick on other kids. I wanted to tell the teacher but thought better of it.

Well, I mean kids are kids (though a smack or two will do the trick!), but teachers there should be more observant of some kids’ mischievous behavior. Being in that profession, they should be very familiar with kids’ sorta tribulations. And they should damn well know that at this tender age, it is very fundamental for the youngs to be appropriately molded. I guess that’s the whole purpose of us parents sending our small ones to this play school - not to learn rocket science and algorithm, but amongst others to acquire the very basic of proper behaviour in development, like socializing so these little brats will not turn into some scumbags that can bring the whole civilization down in the future.

May be I am taking this a little way to hard, but I deem I have a point or two here.

Jamboree

When I was in KL, I was breathlessly juggling my time between getting my things-to-do list done and meeting friends (hey..I need to write this just in case missus read, she knows that her good hubby was not just fooling around in KL). I met few friends over cuppa latte at one of those café/bistro at KLCC, and being there rendered 99 percent chances of meeting more and more friends, so I ended up spending more time hanging there than what I had initially planned.

Anyway, I came to know that there will be another gathering of old boys, and this time it would be a grand one (for unknown reason) and would be held at our old college premises. Well… I sure am gonnal miss this again…

No… the truth is, I never want to go to this limbo jamboree. I don’t know if it’s just me but up till now I’m falling short in comprehending the benefit of turning up. The alumni association is a down right waste of, if not time, money. It is just so bizarre that an association with some influential members in it is going nowhere after all these years. It is a shamble with no clear goal other than getting together and borak borak kosong, hu ha hu ha and repeating stories of old days over and over again. But again, if you think about it, ... what do you expect from a big association with members coming from all level of intellect and mentality….from the extreme ‘keris’ mentality, liberalized pro, lay back ass, childish pathetic yuppy to complete looser - It'll take decades to lay out a simple plan.

I’d love to see an alumni association with a strong networking and clear vision for members to carve up and benefit from it.

I have gone to the website, it was half-baked and outdated.

Policy...my foot

Landed KLIA on time, dashed my way out, swapped my SIM card, and called the guy whom I have earlier made an arrangement for a rental car. Good ol’regular was there waiting. Got in the car and headed to KL. It was raining real heavy, I mean REAL heavy, so traffic was a bitch, it took me close to 2 hours to reach hotel. My intention was to settle down well before the closing of business hour, so I could accomplish my business as much as possible that day, and spare the other day for other errands, before routing back to my hometown. I only had like a thousand things to do.

So I was at the hotel reception, there was this young overly “make-up” lady (resembling Chinese Opera Lady) manning the counter. Told her my name, and yes my room was ready. So this ‘super-slow-motion lady’ asked for my credit card. Gave her the card and 'slow-motionly' she keyed in the details in verifying machine. For some unfuckingknown reasons my credit card was not read well by that stupid machine. Well, I told her that I knew my card was ok, it was just her machined that fucked up. But I needed the room for I have not slept since I left.

Chinese Opera Lady (COL) : Ada card lain tak encik?

Me : Tak de, apa pasal?

COL : Card ni tak boleh pakai la.

Me : Tak ade. But can you just check me through fisrt and later I will go out and withdraw money and put a cash deposit. (I didn't have a local currency, and had earlier asked her whether she could accept foreign currency, I mean the ones that I have, not USD or Pound Sterling, to which she said no)

COL : Tak boleh ini polisi kita, we cannot release the room unless ada deposit. So encik kena keluar kan duit la.

Me : Cik pergi check with your boss dulu.

Come on…the room was reserved via corporate booking, not personnel, and the fact that I have been loyal to the hotel (believe me at one point of my career years, I was putting up at the hotel at least once a week for about two years), I was sure that the system will bear my details, my employer details et al, and yeap....I thought the COL would consult her supervisor and they would say "oh.. this good guy is our regular here and he would not steal RM300 worth of a night stay... heck let him in.... and don't forget to send a bouquet of fruits to his room"

But NO...COL came back with "Ini polisi kita cik….Encik kena keluarkan duit and bagi cash deposit" For crying out loud, was I talking to a machine or a soul with a heart here??? I was so pissed off, I could not fucking believe that young bitch made me walking to the nearest ATM after I told her my pathetic tale of needing a room immeditaly (I was not sure what trouble she'd give to people when she develops into a full grown super bitch later!).

Policy my ass!! Luckily the ATM was just around the corner, I withdrew and paid her the deposit.

Move on you... "pedophobiac"

Yesterday was my rest day, normally I’d spend an hour at the gym or out jogging right after work. But yesterday, I was still strained from the ‘superset’ attempt suggested by my spotter a day before (I should've said No..).

The evening was spent sitting in the living room cuddling with dear missus and watching our latest creation - a 3 ½ year old daughter and 2 ½ year old son. My son was with his favorite car zooming in and out of the living room, my daughter was glued to her GameBoy (with the latest game we bought – Piglet and Pooh) and eldest daughter was in her room with a 50/50 chance of either doing her homework or dancing in front of a mirror. The TV, well, it was always tuned to Nickelodeon though the kids were not even watching (nobody dare to change channel!)

Sitting there looking at them was like a therapy to a tired soul. Though the yelling, screaming and ear piecing resonance at time the nuisance to us parents, these actually make our life beautiful. I’m pondering how lucky I am to be blessed with children. "You'll never know how happy children make you until you have some of your own" - this just came to my mind, and it is indeed true.

For parents, you know what I am talking about, and for those ‘planners’ …you don’t know what you’re missing…

Smith Wesson Semi Automatic .45 caliber

"Teacher used hammer to punish pupil"... no shit, I read this in local daily today. Can you fucking believe that! A person, given the trust to educate was acting like nothing less than a loose psychopath criminal. What’s next, a teacher uses Smith Wesson Semi Automatic .45 caliber to shoot under-performed pupil.

Though a case like this does not signify the mentality of the whole teaching profession fraternity, but it takes a nila to screw up the whole milk. In all fairness, teaching is a hell of a tough job to do, teach your kids and see. But commitment, passion and sincerity in educating tell apart the way you react to stress.

Get this; kids nowadays are getting street-smarter than ever. They are so creative and innovative in their own special way - which sometime freak us out big time. It is just us who are so conventional in term of our expectation of a smart kid. It is very much academic in nature, a string of As will be taken as smart kids, those with swerved answers in class are presumed plain dumb. It is the system we live in that makes us the way we are looking at things. We have to reset this screwed-up paradigm.

Was it recently that there was a news on a minister proposing some radical changes to our education system? I missed that one, but if there were, I’d say it is about time. We have to have a system where pupils are encourage acquiring knowledge and expressing thought rather than being pressured to memorize for one whole stretch of year-around-examination.

Social ethic

People are born normal but at a later stage in life, some may develop into full-fleshed morons. These minority goons don’t seem to know how to behave.

Last weekend (Friday) missus decided to take her car for a good wash, a chore that she had been putting off for so long. Not that she take pleasure of the mess, but time had not been there for her. Her daily routine apart from pleasing dear hubby and feeding him with more and more exotic dishes, is sending and fetching the kids to and from school - that includes the extra classes, quran class and in between grabbing groceries. Though the car is easy on mileage but the interior condition was phew…beyond explanation - the kids step on the seat, throwing trash all over with spilt milk and cheap made-in-china McD toys speckled here and there. Missus who at first did her utmost to observe hygiene is now getting used to that.

Ok, back to the story of sending car for washing. So, I thought it was weekend, what he heck lets take the car for washing. So off we went to this car-washing place. It was a drive thru wash, but you had to queue for drying and vacuuming. There were like a couple of lanes for washed cars to queue. After a good drive-thru washing, we got into one of the lane with the least cars on queue; actually there was only one car in front of us. We stepped out of the car and waited at the bench while the workers were busy drying the other car. Lucky for us, just minutes after that, the car in front of us was done with the vacuuming and drying. The owner drove off, and it should have been our turn next. But no…..when I was about to drive the car forward, all of a fucking sudden, there was this Mercedes - model TB (ie. Towkey Babi), driven by a retard gay cut the queue by driving all the way around and reversing just in front of our car. Parked the car nicely and without a friction of guilt, stepped out of the car and acted like he did absolutely nothing wrong.

I thought …what the fucking hell was that. Can you believe that! I was so pissed but woooo…missus was not very happy! Whilst I was still in the perplex state of mind, thinking as whether to go and blow this numbskull brain out, missus was already headed to the worker who were about to work on this guy’s car. Instead of confronting that socially disoriented gay guy, she was flaring at the workers so hard just so that the gay guy could hear it. Whow what a scene that was. And I was not sure what transpired between the workers and this guy, but he later got in his car, made that stupid screeching tire sound and drove all the way around and got into behind our car where it should’ve been at the first place. I saw he was mumbling as he got out from his car.

…well fucker, go and learn from your gay partner on some moral and social ethic in between your foreplay…so one day you sick guys will not be doing something real stupid in public! Ok may be he is not gay, but he sure dressed like one though. What do you expect of a sick person with a chest like a spoon and a belly that resemble nothing less than a ripen buah nangka and yet wearing a body-hugging shirt..

Potholes...what else is new

Just read a news on a death of a man after a car he was driving hit a flooded pothole. His car skidded and turned turtle landed on a padi field, killing him on the spot. So tragic, leaving a wife and two very young children..

The problem has been rectified (yeah right… a big applause to you sir for job well done…). That seems to be a common phrase heard from the relevant authority when some mishap happened as a result of their system failure. It enrages me to think that they were talking about rectifying the system rather than what that malfunction has caused – in this case a life of an innocent. I wonder what the hell was exactly going through their head when making such statement.

Mr Authority here should have been tied to a pole and shot, instead of giving the instantaneous glamorous press attention to utter such brainless remark about his blunder. If the prevailing law provides an avenue to prosecute a bus driver for getting in an accident that kills, then I don’t see why Mr Authority is an exception here. Both Mr Authority and a Bus Driver have no intention of killing but both have the obligation to ensure the safety of people who rely on them. Same accountability except that Mr Authority could have been paid much much more by taxpayers compared to Mr Express Bus Driver.

Mr Authority should’ve been sacked to the least!

I gues what I am trying to get at here is if it wasn’t for the pothole the man would have been playing with his kids right at this moment.

I am just so ticked off by this that I just could not figure out what else to say..*sigh..*

Medorthophobia...

Yesterday I was on an alert-mode for the whole afternoon. The school where my daughter is studying was exercising an Emergency Evacuation Exercise with simulated scenario, thus necessitating us to be on standby for at anytime, official from school would be calling us to get our daughter out from school.

According to my daughter, it was their first since the existence of this school to have organized such a drill. Days earlier, the school have given all parents Information Pack about this drill. It contained detailed instruction on how to ‘save’ your kids. The instruction was plain and simple with some colorful cards and map that came with it. So we were supposed to display one of the cards on our dashboard, follow the route that was given, and fetch the kids and go. No waiting and jamming the place – that was written clearly in bold in the instruction.

So when they finally called missus later that afternoon (they didn’t call me), she went straight to fetch our daughter. Though there was some confusion over the selected route (as there were actually two routes depending on instruction on which to take), missus managed it well and was there on time to fetch our daughter. The course went very well and smooth.

This was not a Fire Drill like what we’d normally have, it was an Emergency Evacuation Drill for security reason. Well… the Information pack reassured us the chance of a real security incident at the school was remote, their whole plan was actually represent a sensible level of precaution in preparing us for the unlikelihood of a real security threat.

See the problem with these people, I mean ..... they can act like they’re so freaking concern on the safety of our kids, but actual fact is they’re just shit scared of their own shadows, ergo all the needless, I mean real unnecessary precautious that they have to take (considering where we are now).

See this year alone, the congress butt in with the proposed purchase of a giant oil company and a port management company by one power-emerging Far East Company and a Middle East company. Just Imagine a normal business transaction with no inkling bit of politics in it excited congress to meddle in.

It was the irrational fears that actually brought the congress and whitehouse into this what seems to be a normal ‘Free-Trade’ business transaction. Years after the 9/11, their national system for gathering secrets and predicting threats (ironically called “intelligence”) is still a mess as shown by the unfounded suspicions that the have. Not to mention the system’s colossal failure to figure out that Iraq did not have weapons of mass destruction.

I am sure the linguistic expert can name this type of phobia – unnecessary fear of all possibilities that can be a threat to the nation, I have checked the list of phobia here
O well…..the price that they’re paying..

p/s Fear of Erect Penis – Medorthophobia

red ass baboon........

I am flying home end of this month – as usual, a swift three-day trip. Late afternoon yesterday, got an email from my travel agent confirming my ticket, but with a slight change. There will be a transit on my return flight. I can’t fucking believe he passed on that as a “slight change”… no sir, that is NOT a slight change to me, that’s a big change!. I intentionally booked a direct flight for reasons –

1. I hate transit – it means you are at a place where you are not intended to be - can’t smoke if you remain onboard and even if they let you disembark, I hate wondering aimlessly at the airport (most probably gazing at unaffordable duty free cameras and watches). Have you noticed how transit passengers are actually looked like – well they're all look like zombies walking around with eyes half closed and hairs going haywire.
2. it’s a godforsaken short trip crossing half of the world, so I want to spend as much time as possible at my destined location rather than at a transit port,
3. I hate transiting at this part of the world, for some ridiculous reasons the airport security makes you going through their scan and x-ray machine like a thousand and fucketh times before you can actually get your ass back to your seat!.

I am going back to the agent for an alternate direct routing.

I am traveling back every 3 or 4 months. The customary agenda of my flying back goes from settling bills, bills, bills and bills, meeting my kids (don’t ask!), visiting my parents, catching up with friends, and checking out on fuel price back home (just kidding!).

For this visit, I am also meeting an old friend whom I’ve not seen since ‘92. Not that I’m really looking forward to meet this chap but heck why not. This very same jerk gave me a five-inch thick phone directory wrapped nicely as my wedding gift…seriously, I was so upset, bad practical joke, would you think!. Ok pass is pass; I can forget and forgive that.

He dropped me an email asking whether we could meet up (he got my email from my other buddy whom I meet every time I come to KL). The last time I met him, he was on his own doing some businesses of sort. We were actually at one time very close, both were bachelor at that time, we were "ronda-sana-ronda-sini-sama-sama" kinda close you know. I was working fulltime with my former company and he was with this one company owned by our friend.

So things were walking-on-the-park kinda ok until at one point of time, all of a sudden he was acting like an ass, he was avoiding me whenever I went to his office. I thought whatthefuck went wrong, but I didn’t react though (I shoud’ve just reacted then by fucking his brain out for behaving like an extinct red ass baboon). A nice man I was and still am, I just played along but as time went on, it was getting to my nerves real bad. He shunned from talking to me, or made that whatthefuck-are-you-doing-here kinda face when I dropped by his office. Up to certain boiling degree, I thought I’ve had enough of this retard character and stopped communicating with and visiting him. And up till now, I am still unsure what was actually zapping into his brain ….well may be when I meet him later this month, if he seems like he’s recovering well from his brain transplant operation, I’d just ask him.

From the email he sent me he was actually wanted to see me to find out opportunities to venture in this part of the world where I’m working. Depending on what area of business he is into now, I am sure there are always opportunities here. I may help him out by introducing him to few people that I know here.

A pocket money idea...

The Air Conditioner in our master bedroom quit working 5 days ago. No urgent “Work Order” issued by missus yet as the weather now is not that sizzling, not yet. It’s a window-type (I know exactly what you’re thinking, but that is the popular type people use down here). I bought it brand new and installed it about a year ago, so this is kinda premature breakdown I would say.

I am not sure what the problem is, when I turned it on, it made these buzzing and humming sounds which irritate the living shit out of missus (I kinda like it though, I think its cool, that melodious buzzing make me feel like I am in out of space or somewhere in fourth dimension world…..ttzzz…bzzzz…zrrtt. Anyway, as the man of the house, I have tried to fix it (by banging three and half times on that damn thing with my fist), but it didn’t work.

I know this one HVAC maintenance contractor guy at office. I am sure there is not much of a maintenance that he has to routinely do everyday (that explains his walking around and around carrying some screwdrivers and other “look-like-busy” gadget with him and his frequent visit to the pantry). Ok to be fair, may be he does a lot of maintaining work around here, which I don’t know or I don’t really care. So I was thinking may be I should just ask this maintenance guy to fix it after office hour, you know, just some additional pocket money for him.

Well, you know what...I guess this guy must have been so naïve; the concept of ‘pocket money’ did not cross his mind very well. He apparently called his company to arrange someone from there to be deputed to my house. I didn’t know this, so, later that day, there was this gentleman calling me from his office, he was like… “Ok sir, we received your report this morning, we will send one electrician to your house to fix one AC….”, swear to God, he sounded like he was reporting to White House Chief of Staff for sending a troop to Iraq or something. And he was telling me, “... and sir, there will be a call-out rate of $xxx plus actual cost of repair and parts.” Damn, I told him, we were not talking about sending a platoon of technician for HVAC maintenance at some tallest building in the world, and that I just need someone to repair one unit of AC, which would probably gonna cost me something like 2000% cheaper than that…. Then I told him, “…that’s too expensive my friend..”, and he was “... Sir, we are sending one qualified technician with experience, if there is a problem after this, we will remedy for FOC…bla bla…”. I told this Mr CIA guy to just forget about this whole sending troop to Iraq with warranty crap, I’d fix it myself.

O well, may be I will drop by at some electrical shop near my house later.

For the sake of argument.... yeah right !

I bet you’ve heard that expression like a thousand times through out your career life, especially when you are into some dialogue with colleague, clients, contractors or even your missus. It seems that we sometime utter something without even think of the rationale.

Yesterday I was on the phone quarrelling with one mathafucca asshole who thought that he was a super rocket scientist born from his momma big ass. The argument went on for like 10 minutes before I told him that I’ve had enough of his screwed up theory and I was not going to carry on with the ineffectual conversation. I wanted to nicely put down my phone at that moment, and he was like “oh well… I am not trying to pick an issue or being difficult here, this is just for the sake of argument this and that bla bla bla… ."

See what I mean…why would anyone want to argue just for the unadorned sake of argument?

You would argue for the sake of reaching an agreement, solving something, or attaining to certain concession satisfying both arguing parties.

You don’t argue for the sake of argument, that is it!

Are we there yet ??

There are just so many e-group on the net, people create group for every darn reason that they can come up with. There are group to name a few, by common interest, by age cap, by profession, by status, by sex orientation or disorientation (I like this…which I frequent more…(lust wife, sex-hungered-widow, lesbo, M&S …) and hell there’re just too many of them.

Well I subscribed to one of these e-groups, an alumnus of our high school some 20 years ago. I am not really an active member like some who shoot emails like every damn jiffy, but I do read all incoming mails from members. Its fun though, it does bring back good ol’memories of student days. The discussion has been always amusing, members are passing jokes, fill in development of other friends, teachers, mak cik dhobi and mak cik dapur, updating how many kids and wife one has, offering opportunities (there are some ‘big’ man here too!) and all.

I kinda lost touch with most of my friends here except for one or two, and the fact that I’ve never turned up to any gathering that the group sometime organize, I could not imagine how these people all look like now. So when reading their emails, I’d imagine the same old silly faces that I know during our schooling days.

But of late, it hit me hard when the matter of discussion revolved around penyakit – gall bladder, diabetes, high blood and all these. It started when one of our friends was telling everybody that he’s recovering from an operation that removed stone which he had suffered for quite sometime. And the thread went on with more and more members telling their pathetic stories. I was like shit, we are getting old, these are all ailments that we used to hear our old folks have, but now we are talking about us suffering them.

Are we that old already???

Hate it when that happen..

Heck of a dinner we had last night! We invited our dear friend and his wife and son for dinner before they left for the airport. Their flight was at 2.00am, (I just don’t get it why some airlines have to fix their schedule at odd hours like 2.00am, why not make it 10.00pm, well…ok I get it …may be some cheap skates airlines are trying to save costs on foods…expecting passengers to just doze off the moment the plane takes off…hey that’s an idea for my national airline to re-schedule all domestic flight to take off after 1.00am..).

I really ate last night (indirect compliment to missus). I was still stuffed when I went to bed last night. Could not sleep right away like always (missus has been complaining how easy I am to drift into that REM stage of sleep, lay my head on pillow and mere seconds after that…zzz). But last night, I was tossing and turning…I don’t remember exactly when I finally fell asleep. My mind was taking me to almost everywhere, exploring from life, work, family, children to golf…yeah I think golf took 90% of that exploration!

Actually it's easy to become so obsessed with golf that we become gullible to the advice of people who don't have the faintest idea of what it takes to make at least an average golfer with consistent shots all the time. Many people, or at least me, get ripped off by charlatans, believing every single damn thing I read, see, or hear in my quest to get better.

For me, actually it is tough as I started waaayyyy too late, and of course, my special thanks to the unsolicited helps that came from various guru songsang, et-al out there. Thanks guys…you have shaped the way I am now …”fucked up’ golfer that is!

Nothing wrong with starting late actually as most golfers of our generations started late anyway. I bet you’ve never heard someone of our age started golf at 15… we all played football then! Kids nowadays start hitting balls at 9!

But most importantly, we have to start right - with the right guru and technique! Once the posture/muscles are molded and tuned up to the right technique, it is easier to improve with minimal adjustment to here and there along the way. Starting wrong ie. with wrong guru, wrong reading, wrong VCD or whatever possible aide there are, will not only lock our screwed-up style, worse still.. it remains there with a strength of a thousand-army to resist change or adjustment! We are ‘trapped’ per se. For some of us late-starter who fall under this category, we have to live with it. There is no way to mend as “Urat dah liat daaa!!!” Of course, we can play well, score decently, but our names will be forever seen in section C chalkboard! Well… I think I can live with that..

I started golfing when I moved to a new job location, away from the bustling metro life that I spent half of my age, to be honest (albeit, what have been said earlier) I never regret it. It’s a game that I can at least envision to continuously play even after retirement, unlike football or any other physical games. Luckily, my wife, who was raised in a ‘golf playing’ family and relatives understand my passion for golf. So, my waking up so early and timely for golf and so liat for pasar-going ritual is fully understood, and will not be raised as an additional supporting subject in any forthcoming fight, if any..

So, as screwed as I am now, to see that happen to my kid is not a wise thing. I have been telling my wife to have my 2 y’old son (my only son, I have 5 daughters) to take up golf with a proper coaching the minute he can barely lift a 3 iron!

Anyway, golf offers me a great deal of mind control, not to mention temper (as I blow all the time!). I enjoy the man-made challenge in the game - the patient and drive that have to come with it. Enjoy the surrounding - the crowd of gentleman, the green and serenity that go with that.

go ahead and have a good time buddy...

A colleague is going off for a good two week vacation tonight..lucky dude! He was telling me of his plan bla bla bla which I do not really be envious of though. But one thing that got me is the get-together-for-a-good-round-of-golf-in-KL, that our KL buddy has planned for him! Damn…we both laid-off golf for quite sometime now, for a reason that we are no longer working in a country blessed with courses here and there.

Hope he’ll enjoy the game, and the evil part of me wishing him blessed with OBs…muahahah..

Well…..remind me of old days, bunch of us lazy ass, just waited until 4.30 before we slip out and hop in our cars driving 120Km/hr to the golf course which was not even 1 km away. Driving with one hand while another busy unbutton and changing office smart-shirt to Golf T shirt. And me, I had my CLK golf-geared! (Cute Little Kancil with clubs, used balls, shoes and shirt readily spared in it)

Another friend of mine has this mental strategy that hardly works even with him though. Before any game, he will read the scorecard and set target on each hole to match his handicap, so that he can go par or under eventually. Which hole to enjoy and which hole to struggle are all written and planned for. In a way, when he plays, he will have to stick to the plan. That’s like putting unnecessary pressure on him to meet the target, no matter how relax and compose he'll get.

Imagine if he blows the set target, he will get upset and try to recover from the next hole, and if he fails again, more pressure to recover from the next. And when it goes to the extend of having to get the impossible eagles for the next three holes to recover; he will have to give up the game. I say his strategy is useless (stroke play or system 36) no matter how hard he is trying to preach others to embrace his self-invented strategy!

Another is “playing your best at each hole” and let the score be consequential in nature. Forget about the bottom line, focus on matter at hand, so to say. So if you hit par at index 1 and blow at index 18 in system 36, be it – its your day! This strategy drives you to be more focus, as you are not going to be much distracted by other factors. Its like going along with your games naturally.

Bet there are many more that you may hear or may have heard from your fellow golfers. The point is, yes, mental tuning strategy is damn important in this beautiful game that we all chose to play. Stick to what you believe is your best mental tuning strategy. We are not invented equal, physically and obviously emotionally. So no one formula can fix all or boleh diguna-pakai by all of us.

Get a grip

Life is a physical and emotional journey. Obviously it runs into all sorts of obstacles in our quest to be at the destined destiny. Physical hindrances are seen, unlike emotional. The latter is much more complex, and that’s what would normally turn us up or upside-down, in no particular order! Emotional state makes our day!

The manner we tackle emotional hindrance determines our strength. Wrong address, it goes OB, if you know what I mean. It’s all in your mind – you feed the system wrong, it goes haywire, but if you feed that little complicated CPU with loads of positive inputs, you’d be looking things differently. First swallow these facts of life, one – some shits are within our control and some are beyond, two – things in life do not necessary go the way they’re supposed to be or at least what we perceived they’re supposed to be, three – focus on what is within your power.

Having said and swallowed that, why are we bitchin’ for example when no one is listening or attention goes a little distance from us! Be kind to yourself, these are all external factors that nothing you do can possibly change them, and nosh your system with how wrong those freaks are for discounting you. And believe me, those happy hormone will be released from your system and you would be content and see things differently and boy…..nothing goes any better than a happy person at T box!